2 columns in the space of a few days?
Either I’m enthralled by the WWE or I’m a lonely, spotty, teenage virgin who is craving some attention.
The truth? …the wife won’t have sex with me. I’m off work. My penis is starting to get a friction rash and I’ve got the beginnings of a repetitive strain injury on my left wrist.
CM DRUNK ON JERICHAHOL
Jericho coming out and outing Punk’s father as an alcoholic and his sister as a smackhead is pure genius. Excellent storyline, I’m seriously enjoying this one.
Jericho has solidified himself as possibly the most hated heel in the WWE at the moment by making these statements. Clever stuff, too. It’s not just the usual “you injured me” or “I”m better than you” type of feud… it’s real and true, humane stuff. Jericho says he’s going to turn the Straight Edge Superstar into a deadbeat wino, just like his pops – very personal words that threaten to – effectively – end Punk’s life.
The way CM Punk has reacted has been scripted extremely well, too. As if he genuinely comes across as being embarrassed of his family, and that Jericho’s words have truly hurt him. The human aspect is what totally flips this feud around from being about “Who is ‘the best’ in the world” into something far more meaningful. Excellent booking.
Sure, I’ve seen people say – “Jericho crossed a line”…don’t listen to these idiots. These people are fools. CM Punk most likely gave Chris Jericho the idea for the angle in the first place!
Their meeting at Mania for the WWE Title is going to be epic… personally I haven’t been as excited as this since I closed my Pornhub browser tab. Seriously though, I can’t remember the last time I was looking forward to a match this much.
Winner? I couldn’t give a toss! I just want to see it…
EVERYONE AND THEN ONLY 2 PEOPLE THEN EVERYONE AGAIN AND THEN 1 GUY AND THEN A SATELLITE CONFERENCE FROM THE MOON AND THEN A…
This week on RAW! HHH addresses the Undertaker
Next week on RAW! HBK sends a text message to HHH
The week after on RAW! The Undertaker speaks on Skype to Hulk Hogan about baldness advice
Seriously… this is getting into a bit of a merry-go-round! We know HBK is the referee. OK. We know Taker wants no cheating. OK. We know HHH is a Game that you can’t play. OK.
Same rubbish every week! No action… I know it’s just for tension building up to Mania, but it’s not being handled very well at all. Compare this triangle to (A) the Rock/Cena buildup, or (B) the Punk/Jericho buildup, and then try telling me the Taker/HHH streak buildup is anything other than dog shit! Go on, try!*
*…(Warning – Pinocchio should NOT try this if he is helping Pa put in his contact lenses)
TACKLING THE BIG TAKER ISSUE
I DIDN’T WANNA DO THIS! I toiled and battled with inner mental demons for over 42 seconds before deciding to tackle this big issue. It’s a touchy subject – a bit like an altar boy’s cock…
So Im’a just put this out there…
THE UNDERTAKER IS GOING BALD
I know, it’s shocking news. We were all hoping for a Chris Jericho styled haircut once the hood had been removed. A fashionable and suave look for 2012 for the Deadman.
Unfortunately, however, this is not the case. THE UNDERTAKER IS BALD! Age catches up with everyone I guess… even to guys who inject HGH and anabolic steroids into their rump. Personally I am very upset, I just can’t imagine the Deadman as an OLD man.
Sources say Kane has grown very emotional since being handed the wig and is “unwilling to hand it back at present”, and with Wrestlemania just around the corner the huge question on everyone’s mind is… JUST WHAT TYPE OF CUT WILL THE UNDERTAKER SPORT AT WRESTLEMANIA?
After texting Hulk Hogan for advice I am growing extremely concerned. This is the end of an era, and I’m putting a bet on the Streak making it to 20 – 0 after which Taker will retire, unbeaten at Wrestlemania. But for an era ending matchup… watching a superstar who has ALWAYS had long hair go bald in the final match is… just… sad.
Peace be with you Deadman. <3