Friends… Family… People who I do not wish to kill… All TWNP readers/members… Welcome to the hottest read in the whirlwind industry of internet-wrestling-writing (as seen on YouTube®).
Pretty Damn Good!
“Pretty Damn Good!” is brought to you by Arrogance®, the new fragrance from FrágiléEgó
I’m going to be a lazy piece of crap and do a “Facebook” styled column. Likes, Comments and Power Marketing. N0 structure, no effort… you don’t deserve my effort. Maybe if Shaun McJamal agreed to negotiate a significant salary increase I could be swayed (hint hint) but unless my financial demands are met I intend to limit and therefore DENY my precious wordsmith wizadry for the foreseeable future.
(Bank Transfer preferred, PayPal OK, will not accept Cheques – incidentally you should know this by now Plummer, especially after that last one bounced… and I shouldn’t have to waste my time repeating this to you time and time again)
the facebook column
Part One – “like!”
- HELL NO! What a superbly put together team. I was a bit worried for Daniel Bryan after he dropped out of the WWE Title picture, and being a long time Kane fan I was slightly concerned about his position on the rostor prior to Dr Shelby’s involvement. (Q: Dr Shelby is a queer, right?). There has been a noticeable improvement in the quality of the production of the promos/vignettes in recent months, including the writing. Team HELL NO! have come up with some genuinely funny scenes lately! The commentary play up their dysfunctional pairing constantly telling us Kane and Bryan could “implode” at any moment… but they actually work very well as a tag team. I see them holding the belts and sticking together for a loooonnnnnng time to come. They are so over they’d be crazy to take the belts away from them! Because without the belts they will naturally go their seperate ways. Together, as TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS!, they increase each others stock. I just hope they don’t bring back the powder-puff king Dr Shelby…
- KOFI ‘SIMBA’ KINGSTON. I’ve always been a massive admirer of Kofi’s incredible athletic ability and have long believed he’s been hugely underutilised. But his mini-feud with Miz has brought out a more aggressive side to Kofi that had been missing previously. Since winning the Intercontinental belt he’s starting to live up to his potential and looks a totally different performer. Apparently Miz has brought out the (quote) “Wild Cat” in Kofi – and with Kofi being billed from Ghana, West Africa we can only assume he did this by inserting some sort of suction device into Kofi’s stomach…
- CM BEING A PUNK – loving the heel turn, it’s been one of the most convincing and enjoyable character twists in recent memory. CM Punk will no doubt go on to become a WWE Hall of Famer as he is quite clearly the most intelligent man on the microphone in the history of professional wrestling. Some of his back-and-forths with Mick Foley in the past few weeks have been Academy Award worthy. He really is the best in the world. No further analysis required – not until my contract negotiations commence, anyway.
Part two – “comments!”
- DOES MICK’S COLUMN WANT BE A LEGEND OR DOES IT JUST WANT TO BE A STATISTIC!
- FEED.. ME.. MORE!!! …please sir, can I have some more? My mummy beats me
- I AM THE TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS!!!
Part Three – “power marketing!”
Youse all can catch me on Twitter yo, I be trippin on dat @buttPLUG #forceful-subliminal-advertising
This piece of writing was written in a state of semi-lucidity and any degradations aimed at the content will be dealt with in a petulant and childish manner by myself.
Shall I tell you? …I’ve got a confession to make… well, not so much a confession, more a truth I’ve been hiding. It pertains to my identity and links to this website.
Nah, fuck you!
The End. By Mick Marshall. 2012
Mick G. Marshall lives in Townsville with his common-law wife Chin. They have 3 dogs (at the time of writing, anyway). He has written successfully for various big companies, including Micr0soft Word and LibreOffice Writer. To learn more about BrandMiCK® please visit a psychiatrist.