Is brand extension over? Imagine this scenario. Raw vs Smackdown coinciding with the videogame release and end brand extension. Who will “survive?” Gee, maybe this could have been solved at say…the Survivor Series. End it in some smoz, where everyone technically “wins.” Have Raw and Smackdown guys (which they are pretty much doing now anyways) interact on each other’s shows. Maybe some angles could be exclusive to particular shows and when the angle is over the wrestler can move on to another show, just to spread things out. ECW could be what it once was. A true breeding ground for up and coming talent (aka tap into those OVW and FCW talents) and keep it in small markets. I think it is a mistake to keep ECW in big arenas. Keep it in your Hammerstein Ballrooms and make the fans that are attending feel as though they are attending something special (even if CM Punk John Morrison part 28 might not be the best idea on paper)….besides fans didn’t mind seeing RVD/Jerry Lynn and Super Crazy/Tajiri countless times. If ECW can produce solid matches (even if the angles and gimmicks aren’t necessarily top notch, hey they aren’t right now anyways) in smaller markets, we can get the gritty indy-style wrestling on TV, after all there is a market for that. Let the big boys play (yeah, I kind of miss Bischoff) in the two big shows and let ECW be a minor league feeding ground that will leave fans wondering “who will they produce next?” Ah, but that is just wishful thinking.
I am a little late on this one but, I went to Raw in my birthplace of Bridgeport, CT. Did it disappoint considering what a smart mark (or smark) I am? Much to my surprise…not at all.
Hey, I can tell you first hand that it was a blast. Not too many low points (Kennedy/ Jannetty was eh). People really seem to have to have run with Hogan saying “Oh Yeaaahh!!” in his promo. Sure, I had a couple of “root” beers in me, but I popped for it, as did many others in the stands (Vince still hates Macho read my old “Where Has All The Madness Gone?” column for details). Speaking of pop, I felt like I was 12 and 13 years old all over again when Sunny came out. Still not in her prime, but looking very foxy compared to what we’ve seen in the past few years. So all in all, it was the best show I’ve attended in a long time. Come to think of it, the last time I had such high expectations, WCW was still in business. It was 1998 and Nitro (WCW as a whole) were actually coming to Connecticut in the prime of the Monday Night Wars. It was Vince’s backyard, so I knew Bischoff would try to pull out all the stops. Then I heard rumors of a big surprise return. Did it live up to the hype? Well, let me revisit that hot August Monday night some 9 and a half years ago…
The Ultimate Warrior in WCW.
I heard some rumblings that the Ultimate Warrior was coming to WCW. What better way to do so than in the WWE’s home state of Connecticut. During the Hogan promo when my buddy said, “Stop reading those rumor sites, the Warrior ain’t coming.” Then we heard some weird music/light show and there he was. Finally face to face with Hogan. The crowd was in awe. Then he talked….and talked. My dad quipped, “So is he going to fight or what?” The crowd slowly chanted, “Wrestle, Wrestle!!” The Warrior remarked, “Patience is a great virtue Warriors!!” I was tricked into believing that the Warrior’s return was cool. Then I realized with his colorful image and nonsensical monologues, I was tricked into being a fan of his for years. But then again, maybe the Warrior was right. Maybe we should have had more patience. It’s probably our fault he sucks. Just ask him. It was the Ultimate Disappointment. Speaking of other notable disappointments…
Brock Lesnar vs. Goldberg
Alright. This was the match up. It was like Hogan/Rock again. It was to be two gladiators do battle as potential modern day legends. It was at the World’s Most Famous Arena. Brock was pushed heavily and won the world belt within his first year in the business. The same could be said for Goldberg back in WCW. It should have been a career defining moment for both men. It was a disaster. They both mailed it home and didn’t even try to give us a memorable match. They knew they were leaving, so they stuck it to the fans and it showed. New Yorkers are way too smart for that and rightfully booed. Brock, in my humble opinion, is likely the most athletically gifted performer ever (Shelton Benjamin PLEASE don’t end up like him). He tried the shooting star press (although nearly ended his career). (Sidenote: I’ll always remember Billy Kidman on Byte This! Stating the Brock had no business trying that move and to leave it to him). I digress, just when you think they couldn’t have ended their career any worse, well they got what they deserve: a stunner each from Stone Cold. If you have a problem management, take it up with Vince, don’t screw the fans over at the 20th anniversary of the biggest deal in sports entertainment.
Undertaker Vs Undertaker.
I was ten, yet I knew this would suck. Even Leslie Neilson and George Kennedy from the Naked Gun trilogy (why no O.J….oh right it was 94, he had his own death angle) couldn’t save this atrocity. So Paul Bearer comes out with an even bigger urn that has a flashlight in it was pretends like he’s performing a ridiculous exorcism in the 15 minute entrance…then we have the actual match. It in a word was bad. And the bogus Undertaker would go on to be Chainz from the short-lived Disciples of Apocalypse. Even funnier, Wikipedia is my source on this one, claims the Underfaker wound up being the real Undertaker’s best man in his (legit) wedding to Sara. She would then go on to be stalked by DDP and then beat him in a match. Hey, the marriage lasted longer than the DOA or DDP in the WWE at least.
So what have we learned today? Well, not a whole lot. For the previous three disappointments, there’s Lex Luger and the Lex Express trying to be the next Hulk Hogan, the Gobbley Gooker (immortalized by another great wrestling site), and the Ultimate Warrior in general (no-showing, threatening to quit, he’s worse than a dead-beat dad to us wrestling fans). Life is full of disappointments and wrestling is no exception to that rule, however I choose make a humorous light on sports entertainment. Like a good B-movie, sometimes the unintentionally bad is what we love the most.
It felt good to write another column and this time there actually is another in the works (if my old readers are still out there). With that said, thanks to the newer guys for consistently putting up columns during this somewhat downtime. I may not always agree with everyone’s views, but they are putting stuff out. Hey older columnists, let's put some stuff out too, the last time everyone came out of the woodwork, it was for the Benoit tragedies, let’s bring it back to something positive. Maybe, wrestling will improve for Wrestlemania, maybe TNA will step up to the big time finally, and maybe wrestling will up rise like it for the Monday Night Wars. Maybe I’m just the king of wishful thinking…
Speaking of wishful thinking, have you ever thought that maybe a particular superstar deserved some gold that he never got? Sure, we all know about the Snukas and Jakes, but I’ll toss this one to the readers. Sure, I have a bunch of guys in mind, but who you do the reader think got royally hosed out of some title recognition? Send me some names because it will be our next topic.
Learn to love it, learn to live with it, diamonds are forever, and does anybody know a good scalper, I’m trying to go to Raw in Mohegan this Monday?
Luscious Jonny F