The Luscious Truth: Guys Who Deserved Better and One Guy Who Didn’tThrough the history of sports entertainment there has been many legendary performers who have left an indelible legacy on this business. They have given us moments that we lived as children and tell our own children and new generations in the coming years. Whatever the reason, there are certain athletes, that never got the gold that can often define a career. Sure, wrestling matches are predetermined, but Dan Marino’s period at the end of his illustrious, record-setting career would have been that Super Bowl title. The same applies to professional wrestlers. Think about it: Trent Dilfer is a Super Bowl MVP (against my beloved New York Giants, ugh), and Dan the Man has no rings? Jimmy Snuka is not remembered for holding any gold (anything significant, at least), yet Tommy Rich, yes ECW’s “Big Don”, was an NWA World Heavyweight Champion during the Flair/Race/Funks era? Is there any justice? The following is a list of wrestlers who, sure maybe are Hall of Famers, legends, and larger than life figures, but never got a fair just due when it came to a crack at the gold…
“Superfly” Jimmy Snuka
No gold at all. Not even a pity tag strap towards the end of prime. Snuka was well on his way to an Intercontinental, if not World Title run, and then it happened. Hulkamania came in and shook up the world. Jimmy would never reach the levels Hogan did and would only be an “enforcer” during the inaugural Wrestlemania main event. We remember Jimmy’s innovation of the high flying style, his hellacious feud with Don Morocco, jumping off the steel cage, and even being the Undertaker’s first Wrestlemania victim. Unfortunately, we never remember the Superfly for carrying any gold (Eastern Championship Wrestling doesn’t really count, sorry).
Andre the Giant
Now, I know what you’re thinking, he did technically “beat” Hogan for the title leading up to the Wrestlemania 4 tournament. But he held it for 28 seconds before relinquishing it to the Ted DiBiase. Andre deserved at least one long run with the title, considering how long he went undefeated. Sure he held the tag titles with Haku, but that was in the twilight of his career. Even if you hated him, he still deserved a real world title run.
“Million Dollar Man” Ted DiBiase
Andre handing him the World Title on Saturday Night’s Main Event was never recognized, Money Inc. had a good tag title run, and the Million Dollar Belt was one sweet-looking, expensive title (though, never really sanctioned). It seemed the World Wrestling Federation wanted him to be their mega-heel, so every mega heel deserves a title run of some sorts. I could see DiBiase as a World Champ, or he should have had at least an IC title run. The Million Dollar Belt was so cool though and Money Inc. ruled the tag ranks in the early 90’s, he actually doesn’t have anything to be ashamed of.
Jake “The Snake” Roberts
Nothing. Not even a tag title. Jake has always seemed to know his place and as popular as he was in his prime, he saw himself as the guy that built the crowd up for Hulk Hogan. In fact, Jake’s feud with the Hulkster had to get nixed due to the fact that the crowds were chanting for Jake at a time when faces could never square off against each other. Personal problems aside, Jake was more than worthy of an IC title run and if the timing was right, he could have definitely carried the world title, especially in his WCW run.
The Rockers
Sure, the Midnight Rockers in the AWA held the gold, but by that time that organization was in a downward spiral that would only get worse. A title win against the Hart Foundation that would only become a mulligan after Vince determined the match could not be shown due to faulty ring ropes. Sure, Marty and Shawn did win tag titles (separate partners however). Gorilla Monsoon always referred to them as “tag team specialists”, apparently not special enough to hold the gold.
Honorable Mentions:
Curt Hennig – Got IC title runs, but a feud with the Hulkster was as close as Mr. Perfect would come to world title gold.
Arn Anderson – Dominated the tag team ranks with Ole Anderson, Tully Blanchard, held the gold once more with Paul Roma (cough, cough) and was a serviceable TV Champ. The title of the “Enforcer” and Ric Flair’s best friend say a hell of a lot, so why did Arn job out to the Renegade (that Warrior knock-off)? I say the World Title may have been a worldly stretch, but Double A was certainly US Title-worthy.
Raven – Sure, Scott Levi was one of the most dominant world champions in old ECW. Out of ECW? Eh, he held the US Title for a DAY, before getting squashed by Goldberg. Oh, but he held the Hardcore Title like 30-something times. Maybe true, but that title was seen as a joke to management. All it did was give us some decent matches and make a name for Bob Holly (the Hardcore thing has been running almost ten years now, please retire or go away Bob!!) Before, some of you TNA fans get in a huff Raven’s NWA title win; it was as short and memorable as any one of the Hardcore Title wins. I digress, Raven should at least held the IC or US title in the big leagues for a fair amount of time.
Ah the past, you got to love it. I think that is why I get pumped for Wrestlemania. Sure they try to put on the greatest show of the year, but hey, I grew up in the 80s, I get more pumped for the Hall of Fame. I may have mentioned in an older column that Wrestlemania 24 marks the 20th anniversary of the Macho Man Randy Savage winning the World Title at Wrestlemania 4’s tournament (one of the best Mnia’s, I’m a sucker for a tournament). I think this would be the perfect year to induct Mach in the HOF. From legends and individuals that deserve the Hall of Fame treatment, to a guy who does not deserve to be mentioned in the same breath…
WWE has come to terms on the release of Bobby Lashley. We wish Bobby the best in his future endeavors. So do I, as long as he is as far away from a wrestling ring as possible. Jim Ross once referred to him as the “black” Brock Lesnar. JR was right on the money with that “blue-chipper.” Talent, size, power, not being able to handle the pressure of the business. In all fairness to Brock, he was more agile, stronger, and worked less stiff. That’s why I never bought into Lashley, he just wasn’t as talented and I felt he could choke in a clutch match. Non-chokers include Mania legends like Shawn Michaels, Kurt Angle, the aforementioned Brock Lesnar (well only vs. Angle, the Goldberg match was atrocious), Steamboat, Savage, Austin, Rock, even Hogan turns it up a notch with some of the best at his age. I knew Vince had to figure out other ways to push this guy due to Bobby’s “all show, only some go” way of working. I mean Vince pulled out all the stops, shaving his own head, giving Lashley ECW and US Title runs, even moving him to Raw for that monster push. Die-hard fans were buying into him like they bought into Cena (unlike Cena, Lashley has neither has charisma, nor marketability for children’s merchandise). In fact, I think a good portion of the fans chose Cena over Lashley in their match over the summer, which is saying something. So Lashley’s girl quits (yea Kristal’s a babe, but as a wrestler, you can bounce back with a hotter girl as opposed to ending your career), he gets injured, and then he wants out. If Lashley left because of a “diva” (who apparently really acted like one backstage), then he never really cared about the business in the first place. The guys who last are the guys who are fans. That is why the HBKs, the Flairs, the Foleys, even the Cenas, and HHH will always be around because they love this business, it’s all they know, and it’s all they want to know. It was off-putting to me to see Booker and Sharmell leave last summer, because Booker’s fought hard for everything he’s earned and Sharmell was inspired by mangers like Sensational Sherri and Sunny. They CARE about the business, so I understood them leaving. I care about Lashley and Kristal leaving as much as I care about Tim Robbins and Susan Sarandon talking politics (in all fairness, Tim Robbins is a much better actor, than Lashley was a wrestler). Now can we push someone who actually likes their job?
Learn to love it, learn to live with it, diamonds are forever, but Bobby Lashley is not.
- Luscious Jonny F