| Vince McMahon often says that he is in the entertainment business. Sometimes entertainment and wrestling have similar parallels. We are in the midst of seeing one of the biggest trainwrecks of all time. At one time, it was so huge, it had my 17 year old (and every other young heterosexual males) hormones jumping. It always had a new, different, hot look. It even made out with Madonna on TV. Who is the “it” you ask? The it is Britney Spears. Her transformation from the “it” girl to “sh*t” mom is the car crash you can’t stop watching. She had a meteoric rise, untouchability at one point, to a complete joke, to now a sad story that stands the verge of ending very badly. Sure it’s not any “new” news and nothing we see or read on TMZ.com is surprising anymore (in fact, if I took pictures out side of her house, I stand the chance of hooking up with her, yea me). What does this all have to with wrestling? It reminds me of something I touched on my last column, WCW. They are eerily similar (however neither Ted Turner nor Eric Bischoff made me horny and that’s a GOOD thing). Both come from modest Southern beginnings. Britney was a disciple of the now-defunct Mickey Mouse Club, WCW was an offshoot of the now pretty much defunct NWA. Eventually, WCW needed to make a big splash and signing Hulk Hogan was the answer. MTV needed something to latch onto and Britney Spears (along with several other genres of music, including the rap-rock I used to love, but refuse to admit it now) was an answer. WCW was slowly climbing on the ratings, Britney climbed the charts. Thanks in part to the nWo, Goldberg, and good wrestling (not Goldberg-related of course), WCW dominated the wrestling business and was poised to be the number one brand going into the new millennium. Ms. Spears too, was also poised to continue her multi-platinum success and performances going into womanhood. They didn’t. Maybe Britney will clean her self up and remind us of the clean good-girl she once was (I don’t really care either way), it’s not too late for that nutjob. For WCW it is. The only memories we have live in our brains or when Vince decides he wants to showcase them. Case in point: Ric Flair and the Hall of Fame. I am a huge Ric Flair fan. I really wanted to go to Florida for the Hall of Fame (damn friends backing out last minute). Like Stone Cold rumbled in interviews, this angle could have been so much better. You don’t really see Slick Ric complain. They give him table scraps of TV time and he makes the most of it. His promos past and present are awesome. Ric’s promo this past Monday was off the charts. When HBK called him Old Yeller, just seeing Naitch throw the NWA belt down, throw his sport coat down, then stomp that same coat and flip out made me crank up the volume on my television and block any other distraction (something I have rarely done since the Monday Night Wars have ended). This angle could have been played out a lot more (imagine him going for one of the big two titles and having to win the gold or lose his career), but I really do have faith that Michaels will give Ric his best (his Jericho & Angle ‘Mania matches solidified this for me). So with Slick Ric entering the “Hall”, how does everyone else feel about the rest of the 2008 class? Well, Naitch says it all (and would overshadow most), but the rest of the class is a who’s who of individuals today’s casual fan has little if any knowledge of. Let’s quickly break them down: Rocky Johnson and Peter Maivia. Rocky Johnson was a former tag team champion, along with fellow Hall of Famer Tony Atlas, who’s even greater claim to fame is his gene pool which created The Rock. Rocky’s father-in-law (Rock’s grandfather), Peter Maivia begun the long lineage of Samoan wrestlers that have been strong for decades. To the best of my knowledge, Mr. Maivia’s best work wasn’t really in the (W)WWF, yet it is nice the forefather of this heritage is recognized. Other than that, it is really just an excuse to get The Rock involved again. Let’s face it, Vince wants Rock there in case he maybe gets the “bug” and wants to come back (he won’t, but you never know). Sidenote: I’m glad John Cena called out (in a way) Rock on the radio for not being involved in wrestling anymore. Sure, he’s a big movie star (sort of), but don’t forget your heritage (at least the Raw anniversary show), Hogan never did, Stone Cold isn’t (although they aren’t very good actors, but don’t hate on Suburban Commando). Mae Young. Most would be surprised that I think she deserves the honor. Sure, I laughed when the Dudleys powerbombed her off the stage. Sure, Mae’s grossed us all out when she, well every appearance she does is pretty ridiculous and gross to a degree. She is the only female wrestler to achieve her greatest success by acting like a crazy old woman (sorry, I’m not counting Judy Bagwell). Either she is the greatest sport ever (I wouldn’t want my grandma doing that stuff) or she really is completely insane. To me, although I can’t really name any pre-Attitude era stuff she ever did, but if Pete Rose and William Perry get in, at least give that crazy old woman some respect (if for only one night). The Brisco Brothers. The two Florida boys, Jack and Gerry. Jack is a legend and former NWA champion (I know this because Flair yells his name in many promos). Although he deserves the honor, I’m not quite sure he would have gotten in if not for his brother, Gerald. Even though Gerry won some regional titles, he was never quite the singles star his brother was, but he has been a faithful and loyal WWE employee for over 20 years (besides who could forget the “stooge” angle with Pat Patterson). As he would say, “Thanks for the honor Mr. Mac-Man.” Eddie Graham. I’ll keep this short, he passed away when I was 2 years old, so I have limited knowledge of his legacy. Florida has been a hotspot in wrestling for years and Eddie Graham and the legendary Graham family are no exception with Championship Wrestling from Florida. Since Vince does own the library, it’s only right that the founder is honored. Gordon Solie. Speaking of CWF, their legendary voice was finally honored, Gordon Solie. Now don’t get me wrong Gordon was the Howard Cossell of wrestling and was at one time the best at his craft, but I watched ECW intently on seeing the last inductee be…
Macho Man Randy Savage. Yes, for those reading my columns regularly, I’ve mentioned him several times. He was one of the biggest stars in the company at one time, some say ever, but he continually gets overlooked because he really pissed Vince off several years ago. I just think now would haven been the perfect year for Mach. He was always billed as being from Sarasota, Florida (near the site of WM 24) and this year marks the 20th anniversary of Savage winning the Wrestlemania 4 tournament to become WWF champion. Come on, Vince, lighten up. So I pass it to you the readers, why do you think there is no love (or even an action figure or DVD) for the Macho Man? Maybe they are saving him as a future Hall of Fame attraction several years down the road. Afterall, we still have Ted DiBiase, Ricky Steamboat, Jake Roberts, the Road Warriors, some of the Von Erichs, Miss Elizabeth (?), probably Jim Duggan (loyal employee like Gerry Brisco), Howard Finkel, Owen Hart, Goldberg (kidding), Bob Backlund, and Bruno Sammartino to induct, although the latter two have turned down the Hall (Backlund still thinks he can wrestle and Bruno is a bitter old man). With that said, enjoy the Hall of Fame, enjoy Wrestlemania (although I have a feeling Comcast will screw me over on the HD broadcast), and screw predictions I want some surprises for a change (aka squash Mayweather). Learn to love it, learn to live with it, diamonds are forever, and so is Ric Flair and the 2008 Hall of Fame Inductees (even if we don’t know/like them all). -Luscious Jonny F
Afterthought for TWNP columnists: What the hell? Wrestling ain't the attitude era, but it IS Wrestlemania time. Does anyone post anymore (frequent columnists aside)?? I have a life too (I've only posted 3 columns this year), but at least it's something. Since it's one of the few exciting times of the wrestling year, I dare one of old columnists to post something intelligent and make things interesting again (unless everyone quit, then my bad).
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