I am feeling a bit under the weather as I type this and American Gladiators is on ESPN Classic. You know what? Mike Adamle looks pretty comfortable and confident in that environment. As Gladiators original run concluded, I thought he would be a perfect announcer in the WWE. I was really off on that one; those editors on the American Gladiators’ production team were really good at their job.

Gladiators is boring me, so I’m watching the Ultimate Fighter. I thought the first season would be a joke and avoided it like the plague when Raw was still on Spike. It’s a lot of bad sleeve tattoos, pranks, stupid haircuts, meatheads and good old-fashioned competition/violence. I will now safely say that UFC is clearly overtaking boxing as far as America’s “bust-lust” one on one “real” sports (no offense fellow wrestling fans). I never thought I would say this, but Brock Lesnar actually made a good move jumping into MMA. He admitted he had no idea what he was doing in professional football and didn’t like the travel in the WWE. I am pissed that he left because he is so damn talented and his matches against the Undertaker in Hell in a Cell from No Mercy 2002 and vs. Kurt Angle at Wrestlemania 19 are among my favorite of all time. So out of curiosity, I watched his recent UFC match and Brock is still a beast. It’s going to be pretty tough for someone to take the title from him. He feels that he might as well try it while he is still relatively young. Besides wrestling will still be there when he is finished, believe me since Brock is making a name outside of wrestling, Vince will definitely throw him a load of cash. Man, has UFC come a long way, but I’m actually not jumping on the bandwagon, I found them to be very interesting in the mid-90’s when they were “banned” from PPV. After seeing Taz in the original ECW incorporate some MMA moves, then Ken Shamrock bring his “World’s Most Dangerous Man” moniker to late 90’s WWF, I was intrigued by UFC, so I bought some of the original VHS tapes. Wow, did they suck. It seemed like ANYONE off the streets could fight there. Apparently, Dana White and some shareholders purchased UFC as it was about to go under, regulated the rules and used whatever momentum the company had, applied some great marketing and have made it a phenomenon. Wrestling is still my first love as far as televised violence is concerned, but being in the marketing industry I respect and applaud what Dana White along with UFC has accomplished from its meager beginnings. Some of those original fights, however, were good, some were brutal and some of those guys had no business being in the octagon. Speaking of Spike TV (not that’s not a plug, they show way too much CSI)…

Some of my readers complained about my lack of respect for TNA. On the WWE 24/7 Legends special, Ric Flair gave them a shout-out. When speaking of Vince Russo and Ed Ferrera making fun of JR in the old WCW Oklahoma bits, “Where are those guys now? There on the sh*tcan somewhere. TNA? Nobody knows TNA.” I guess that may put my fears to rest of Naitch ruining his retirement to wrestle Sting as the legendary Don West calls that bout. My point is he is right. My fellow columnists that say you don’t watch the WWE anymore and watch TNA I have one question… why? I watched this week’s episode with the Turkey Bowl tournament and literally fell asleep. The Main Event Mafia versus the TNA Frontline (God-awful name, sounds like a MSNBC special report about hookers) is just a rehashed angle of WCW’s Millionaire’s Club versus the New Blood. Guess what? That angle sucked and caused major rifts in the company (I like Billy Kidman, but he had no business beating Hulk Hogan). People say the wrestling is better and I’m sure they let it rip in the ring and I respect that, but most of what I saw was talking segments that were brutal. There’s a reason Steve Corino always did the talking for Rhyno, he still can’t cut a promo. Scott Steiner has no business competing in a ring with his frequent injuries, Kurt Angle looks like he’s taken a few too many shots to the head and Kevin Nash looks like an 80 year old mountain lion. Jeremy Borash (who made a fantastic ECW DVD a few years back) looked like he was nodding off before cleavage woke him up during a Traci Brooks/ Christy Hemme (who apparently STILL didn’t learn to wrestle after nearly 5 years in the business) interview. The wrestlers on the TNA Frontline (I hate it more typing it a second time) look more like WCW’s old Misfits in Action group than troops you want to rally behind. As TNA copies WWE with an interview segment as their main event, Bubba Ray (whose New York accent seems to have gotten thicker in Orlando’s Impact Zone somehow) cuts a passionate promo about the Dudley’s (Team 3D is NOT a good name I think we all agreed on that 3 years ago) legacy, I was slightly entertained. I was entertained when Bubba rang off names like the Road Warriors, the Steiner Bros. (take a bow Scotty), Harlem Heat (take a bow Booker T) and then watching Kevin Nash point to himself with a “what about me” look from his days with the Outsiders as Bubba Ray did not miss a beat with his promo. It’s entertaining to me how a man in his late 40’s, who is starting to look like a very tall slimmer Santa Claus still needs his kudos at all times. Thank you Bubba Ray for omitting the Outsiders, who are more famous for nearly killing off the tag team titles in WCW than helping the cause. For the record, if Nash was not busy being so selfish, he could have been a really great writer or backstage agent for any organization. The show ended with the Dudleys “joining” the Main Event Goodfella wannabes and cut a promo on the TNA Dateline and anyone over the age of 4 or of a reasonable blood-alcohol level could predict the ending. Dudleys swerved the Main Eventers and joined the good guys. Mike Tenay talks louder. Don West yells nonsensically as we go off air. Gosh, you guys are right that is a lot to love.

A few reasons to like TNA

They are extremely loyal to their workers.
Vince will cut what I feel is a talented worker on a regular basis. If you don’t draw, you don’t feed your family. Period. In TNA, workers like Sonjay Dutt and Traci Brooks (killer bod, kinda butterface) would probably not make it in WWE, but in TNA they have been around since the very start I believe. The workers are loyal and they have a home. Especially during a recession time where everyone cuts jobs across the country, it seems to me like TNA does only if they absolutely have to, which is rare in any business these days, especially the traditionally cutthroat wrestling business.

They try their best
Admit it, Vince has set the bar impossibly high, especially after the Monday Night Wars. It’s really hard to compete with a billionaire, but TNA has hung in there. The production values are on par with WCW more or less and they put out DVDs. They are doing the right things, but are still failing at creating stars of their own. WWE had their guys, NWA/WCW had theirs, ECW created guys, even AWA helped create some of the biggest stars in the industry. I don’t see it with TNA. The Main Event Mafia should just be called Vince’s Former Guys (minus Sting who I respect the hell out of). TNA reminds me of a girl I know. She’s really nice, generous, has changed her look for the better through the years, but there is a reason I never dated her. She is just missing that “it” factor for me. She doesn’t stand out in the crowd and follows what others want to do. Why would I emotionally invest myself in a person I know would not really want to be with? In the long run, I would just hurt her feelings for a short-term gain on my part or in TNA’s case; change the channel out of sheer boredom. Find a way to stand out and I’ll find a way to write a great article about your show.

They are competition
At the end of the day, it gives unemployed talents a place to hone their craft. Jeff Jarrett and Dixie Carter have really invested a lot financially and emotionally, you can’t help but appreciate that.

Luscious Sidenotes:

Davari, now known as a Sheik of some sort, has gotten jacked and is the X-Division champion. Good to see a guy get cut by WWE and make something out of himself.

Matt Morgan is billed from Fairfield, CT. I grew up in Bridgeport and went to school in the neighboring Fairfield, so its good to see a shout out, although I don’t think I’d bill myself from there as a professional.

The Essential Starrcade
Great to see something McMahon didn’t create get the proper treatment (I think he doesn’t pay attention to things on 24/7 Classics). Due to politics and publicity, having a top 25 match countdown without a Benoit match seemed out of place, but I understand the reasoning (even if I don’t necessarily agree). Anyway, I thought the matches were great. The scaffold match between the Road Warriors and the Midnight Express was innovative, if not extremely dangerous. I scoffed at Magnum T.A. vs. Tully Blanchard in an “I Quit” match as the #2 match on the countdown, but I was pleasantly surprised seeing it for the first time. It was a brutal match and it had you believe that these two would do anything to win. I thought they wanted to literally kill each other. #1 being Flair vs. Vader surprised me a bit, but I always enjoyed that match and often wonder why it was never on previous Flair DVDs. Overall, if you like old-school NWA/WCW or just want a history lesson, this is a can’t miss. It is coming to DVD with a bonus documentary, so I strongly recommend.

Trev Winters, I am glad you are one of the few that posts on a consistent basis. Don’t take yourself too seriously though, when I questioned the name of your column, it was merely an observation and I didn’t need the explanation. My comic influences are George Carlin and Larry David, so I tend to question things. I don’t really put a price on my opinions (unless someone wanted to pay me), in fact, I don’t see them as opinions, they are the truth, hence The Luscious Truth. I am too smart of a mark to see things otherwise sometimes.

Well that’s my nickel’s worth, ‘til next time…

LJF