Column Posted by Luscious Jonny F on 6:33:04 PM Apr 30, 2009
Perhaps one would think I am posting a column on Thursday to spite one of our fellow columnists. Well, as much as putting readers in a coma and generally locking the English language in the crippler crossface appeals to “Mr. Thursday”, I actually have something to say.
R.I.P. Playboy Buddy Rose
As a wrestling fan, when I hear of a death in the business, there is a range of emotions depending on the individual. Sometimes it is surprise (Curt Hennig, Rick Rude), denial/shock (Chris Benoit) and the unfortunate “I’m not too surprised” to do health issues and substance abuse (Hawk, Johnny Grunge). Then there are some in which that really make you say, “Man, that sucks.” Okay, so that is not my first choice of words and of course anytime a person dies it is a terrible thing. The individual I want to talk about is Playboy Buddy Rose. The Playboy was not in the best of shape (WELL documented in his career), so while it is not overly surprising, I feel the man deserves at least some recognition.
As I’ve stated several times on this forum, I grew up in Bridgeport, CT on mid 80’s WWF programming. So it was seeing local events in the old New Haven Coliseum and the Hartford Civic Center, so being that the Federation was located right in Stamford, they were my regional (even though they were and are national) territory and I have and still remain loyal to them. However, being a mark of the business, I would watch NWA World Championship Wrestling on Saturday nights and even some AWA on ESPN if I was desperate for my wrestling fix. Ric Flair aside, I didn’t appreciate on the other federations’ talents as much I do today and Buddy Rose was one of them. So while I was watching Buddy Rose (who was much thinner at the time) as the Executioner lose to Tito Santana at the inaugural Wrestlemania, I didn’t really know it. While Doug Somers and Buddy Rose was helping put over the Midnight Rockers (later just The Rockers) in AWA, I didn’t really know it, I didn’t get all of the AWA’s programming. I didn’t really know of Buddy Rose until 1990, by then he looked like an overweight Ric Flair that looked like he swallowed some of the midgets in the back. I felt kind of sorry for him, he looked like a guy that was once a thin young star. In fact, he was. He challenged Bob Backlund to the WWF title a year before Hulkamania rocked the wrestling world, but by the time I saw him in action, he was nothing more than high-end enhancement talent. While I may have felt sorry for him, the way he moved around the ring and made the terrible gimmick work, he clearly did not feel sorry for himself. Years later, I had the chance to revisit Buddy Rose at various points in his career, but my friends and I, while not a justice to his career, still gravitate towards the “Blow Away Diet.”
This was so terrible, so insane, and so stupid; I know the talented folks at WrestleCrap have had a field day with this. Bad gimmicks make me cringe and annoy us at times, but every now and again there is that it’s so bad it’s an awesome moment. I don’t care if you have a body like Batista or a body like Haystacks Calhoun, you work with what God (or Vince in his eyes) gives you and you have it or you don’t. Buddy Rose had it. Thanks for keeping us entertained, Playboy.
On to my next point (yes we DO have them on the Luscious Truth), what’s a Thursday without a post from D Ray Morton? I don’t know, how about entertaining? Insightful? Funny?
A weeks-old grudge match is finally nearly almost settled perhaps. As I’ve alluded to, D Ray Morton has “heat” with me. Wow. “Big D” says, and I quote, “So, I guess the point is, if I'm not making Chris Benoit dead jokes, or sh*tting on a company, I really don't care about it.” I call him out on that comment, as he never had a point. He never does have a point. The boy (you can’t be above a 4th grade reading level) does not even have a clue. Frankly, I wish you didn’t care about this business, you wouldn’t waste so much of your own life writing a wretched “wrestling” column. D Ray is so out of his element, he did not even realize I was trying to compliment him on a prior post of mine (which was backhanded, but a compliment nonetheless). So D Ray, we know you are unemployed (that is obvious), but what are the career plans, aspiring pro wrestling writer or comedian? (but seriously I really don’t care). Your wrestling insight channels the Ultimate Warrior’s least coherent ramblings and you make Sid Vicious seem like Edgar Allan Poe. Your comedic talents make Carlos Mencia or Larry The Cable Guy seem like Chris Rock or old school George Carlin. You have all the raunch of a Howard Stern, yet somehow you’ve subtracted all of the wit and humor out of it. Cracking Chris Benoit jokes TWO YEARS after he died, really clever. That is almost as witty as the two weeks it took for you to make a Hulk Hogan-like comeback on me. You really are quite the intellect, like how you ripped off 411mania’s Fact or Fiction (if you love that site so much just apply there, oh wait that lack of talent thing, sorry). Like a lost little boy who wanders into a movie theater looking for mom and dad, you have not a clue and are confused. D Ray Morton, you want me fired? Well, I suggest you stop burning bridges on this site unless you know you can walk on water (a writer this loutish thinks he can) and come back to earth. Krisp, you are right about this guy, thanks for telling it like it is in a more polite manner than I.
So Jonny F’s original point was to talk about Playboy Buddy Rose, a once promising talent who later became regarded as a big fat joke. Unlike D Ray Morton, Buddy Rose made me laugh. He knew who he was and didn’t try to be anything he was not. Was Buddy Rose a joke? To me he wasn’t, he just told the joke. D Ray, you could learn from him, as there is a fine line between telling a joke and being a joke. Learn to live with that.
