Column Posted by A Fan on 9:42:13 PM May 5, 2009
Greetings culture lovers and welcome to yet another edition of my little wrestling article. I hope this is fun to read and not self serving and tedious and all that crap. Oh well, lets get to the events of the latest Monday night Raw and see if WWE is doing any better than last week. Hint...they ARE doing better. Great show that it was they did,however, start off the show with the same old tired Orton footage of the various assaults on the Mcmahons and their extended family. Now I understand that this is necessary to keep momentum up for the Randy the sadistic heel thing they have going but I for one can actually remember things from the last show. I mean we,as wrestling fans ,are probably not going to advanced engineering classes or anything fancy like that but we do have the basic brain functions of lower class mammals...I do anyway. Things pick up quickly when Shane and Orton finally make their way to the ring. As Orton is looking for Shane he gets attacked from behind by Shano and they go out of the ring and up the ramp in a pretty good brawl that is all Shane and no Orton. The beating goes on right into the crowd and from my angles the fight looks real as hell. Its fun to see old school stuff like fighting right in the middle of the audience and this is a very enjoyable way to start off the show except for the previously mentioned Orton video montage. Shane tosses Randy over the wall at ringside and disassembles the announce table to place Orton on it for a top rope Shane elbow but doesn't remove the video monitors from the table so we all know that Shane ain't gonna fly just yet. Randy's two goons come in and start the Shane beatdown while Randy composes himself and begins his stupid “I'm crazy” faces and starts stalking Shane. MVP runs in for the save but is no match for the script and is quickly rendered powerless. Just when we think all is lost Batista runs in with his stiff awkward gait and Legacy runs away up the ramp with Batista saving Shane and MVP. Later they will all compete in singles matches to determine who will be in the main event. I'm gonna skip all the other matches for now and get right to the Legacy stuff if you all don't mind. MVP vs Cody Rhoades starts with William Regal at the announce table so you know MVP ain't gonna win but hopefully this means a program with Regal and MVP. Another good example of smart thinking if the two get a grudge going on because they will work well off of each other and that is good for us fans. The match goes well for both men as they are good in the ring and Rhoades is coming into his own as a singles competitor and learns well from pro's like MVP. A great match overall that is ended in a countout DQ when Regal takes out MVP from ringside when the ref isn't looking and a hurt MVP cant get back into the ring in time. So far its a 2 on one for Shane. Batista vs Debiase comes later in the show and is yet another great match. Debiase, like Rhoades, is also developing into a good singles man and another good addition to the WWE roster. Batista is always good in the ring and like MVP he also gets a DQ for not breaking up his corner murder of Debiase by the 5 count. Three one for Shane in the main event...eep whatever will he do? Moving ahead to the three way handicap match with Shane vs Legacy it is still another classic match and perfectly pulled off by all four performers. At the beginning Shane does amazingly well against the stacked odds and pretty much beats the hell outta all of the bad guys one at a time. Debiase and Rhoades prove they can take big bumps and sell all of Shane'ss stuff very convincingly and all looks ok forShanee until a sneak attack from Randy takes him down and the three way stomping commences. For a while it looks as though Shane will fall to the superior numbers but in what can only be described as a Hulk Hogan moment Shane rises up and destroys all three of his opponents and takes Orton out of the ring again and this time when Shane tears up the announce table the monitors come out and we know Shane's finally gonna fly. Randy lays there semi conscious but as Shane flies off the top rope Orton moves away and Shane hits only table. It was a beautiful moment as table gags always are and poor Shane is stunned and once again at the mercy of Orton and his thugs. In a sadistic finale Randy first “breaks” Shanes foot with a steel chair on the ring steps and then to seal the deal Randy hits the injured foot again with the top set of ring steps while the foot is laying on the bottom set of steps. Shane sells the hell out of the injury and the stretcher and concerned medical team arrive to take him away. Batista's late save attempt is not going to score him any points with Shane just like his lame “apology” for the earlier DQ didn't get him any understanding. Many will not like this ending but I thought it was brilliant and an attempt to re-capture the glory of Raw from the good old days of blood and torture. Orton's ridiculously stupid faces and mannerisms aside it was a great ending to a better than average Raw and hopefully things will continue to improve as the year progresses. The addition of more interesting matchups and roster changes are a good sign for the future and a vast improvement over previous shows. In other action we got to see Matt Hardy vs Kofi Kingston in another very good match. Matt is selling the broken hand well and his whining about how unfair it is for him to have to wrestle with a broken metacarpal is classic. I have a broken metacarpal and just typing sucks so I can imagine how hard it would be to fight a Jamaican with one. Kofi wins the match fairly but gets a cast to the head as a reward from Matt. Hardy exits the arena to a chorus of “you sucks” and all is well for Matt's heel career. This match was well executed and looked good on the teevee and so far all the matches have been very good. Several fairly entertaining promos later we get a funny sing off between Jillian and Festus and when they finally ring the bell to wake Festus up he sings incredibly badly but wins the sing off anyway. As they ring the bell again to freeze the drooling moron Miz comes out and tosses the big guy out of the ring and starts another rant against Cena. Miz and Festus would be an awesome match up but they probably wont do it because it would be too awesome. In another fine display of mic work Miz calls out Cena who finally appears and reels down the ramp to the ring. Apparently Cena is still hurt from Big Shows attack at Backlash so he moves pretty slowly. It would seem that Miz finally will get his chance to take Cena out but for some reason he runs out of the ring to make way for Big Shows entrance. This is so dumb and a waste of all those Miz promos to see him just disappear like that and I just don't understand the logic here. Anyway in a very brutal and real looking beating Cena is massacred by Big Show and Show never looked meaner than now. Big Show catches a lot of crap from critics but is consistently one of the best in the business and his matches are always entertaining to me. Jared from subway intros a Micki James vs Maryse match and this match is very fast and hard hitting. These girls do as good as or better than any of the men on the show and look great doing it. Micki wins with a sweet looking DDT and the match was too short to suit me but good nonetheless. Brian Kendrick vs Carlito was another too short match but even though Kendrick comes off as an *ssclown the kid can rassle and can learn a lot from the likes of Carlito. I was glad to see Carlito in singles competition again as that is where he should be. The man can't shine in tag matches and should never have been put in the tag division. As I have mentioned this Raw was very good and it seems that Vince has been reading my articles again and taking my very sound advice. I am still waiting for that company limo to pull up and whisk me off to WWE world headquarters for my pre-employment interview and will work for very reasonable rates...really reasonable. Bye Bye A Fan
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