Can I join in the posting frenzy for today? Its May 5th and with this column, that makes it 4 for today! How many wil there be tomorrow? Zero? Don't you love not being consistent? Screw the readers who would love to read something new every day. We post 4 columns in 1 day and then nothing for another 3 days. F*ck you readers! What, you want regular postings? F*CKKKK YOU!

Here's a small list of things better/more important than our readers:

- Dog sh*t

- Alcohol

- Cartoon Acid

- Stickmen cartoons

- Prank phone calls

- The Tick live action TV show

Call this my swerve heel turn on readers. I'm joining the rest of the writers and posting whenever I want. I'll be the next Luscious Johnny, where I write 1 column every 3 months. F*CK YOUR EXPECTATIONS, READERS! Take your expectations and shove them straight up your roody poo, candy ass!

in accordance with joining the rest of the writers on this site, this column is dedicated to trite issues. Here we go!

RAW:

- Didn't watch it except: Legacy destroying Shane. Didn't that happen at No Way Out? I R Lost.

Smackdown:

- Illegally downloaded the torrent to watch great wrestling. Smackdown Six v 2.0. Who's going to be the Chris Benoit of the group and kill his wife and kid in a couple of years? My guess is Morrison. Only time will tell. Call 911 if you see John buying bibles in a book store.

Superstars:

Nobody actually watches Superstars. So, there are no reviews. I watched Survivor instead. I would put it in Sierra's butt, gladly.

ECW:

I comes on at 1am Friday morning, and by that time, I am normally blackout drunk. So, I probably watched it, but couldn't say for sure. If there's any consolation, I woke up naked and in the bathroom. Maybe I was trying to channel the Naked Mideon gimmick, so that should earn me some points with the IWC.

TNA Impact:

HAHAHA. Right. As IF. I'd rather watch WCW Thunder from 2000, when it was at its all-time worst. No idiot would put himself through that much torture.

ROH on HDNet:

Best show all week. Hands f*cking down. Even though Jimmy Jacobs looks like a multicolored twat, he has been gold on the stick since day one. Necrobutcher is aggrivating me a little, thanks to his Southern Stupid Drunken Jackass gimmick, which MTV finds more and more appealing by the day. Necro, time to write a wrestling book, my friend. Your 15 minutes are almost up.

How's my trivial wrestling show reports? Are they as worthless as anything you've read by Grabboidz/Winters/A Fan or Monoko? I know when I reread this column, it turned out equally as crappy. Maybe settling for mediocrity isn't my cup of tea, but it seems like it is for them. Thats my 4 cents worth....

The D Ray investigation continues this Thursday! Who will be DRM's first victm? What? My first attempt at a stolen gimmick. What? I wrote myself into a corner with this What gimmick. What? F*ck my life.