In life there are rules. Some rules are enforced by parents as kids others by the law and the government as an adult. There are also rules that have just come to be. Hold the door for others, gentlemen pull out a chair for the lady and even Larry David-esque rules like the “cut-off time” for calling someone with news given the hour of day. Religion, the workplace, the police, even this website has rules. The New World Order once had a t-shirt that said, “rules and bones are meant to be broken.” In professional wrestling, broken bones are a given, but broken rules? Not on Vince McMahon’s watch (no wonder the nWo didn’t last in the WWE), but we’ll get to the almighty Chairman momentarily.

Sometimes when something is forced on me (political affiliations, opinions or movies I HAVE to see), I’ll be inclined to want to do the opposite. I still did not see Slumdog Millionaire (critical darling of the Oscars) and in many ways I wanted to vote Republican, purely to spite my overtly liberal work colleagues (I do not plan on talking politics on this site, I assure you). On the contrary, uber-leftwinger Bill Mahr has no problem sharing his viewpoints and an inventive part of his show that he has is “New Rules.” I do not agree with everything Mahr has to say, but it is an interesting forum. Before I digress any further, I still love the WWE and greatly admire the genius of Vince McMahon (hey, I am in marketing and he marketed the old school territories right out of business). With that said, he is still my dad’s age and as sharp as my old man is, he is not getting any younger and neither is Vince. Sometimes you have to change your ways and put your guard down. Even my father has been open to change when it comes to politics, the internet Web 2.0 age and even fashion sense. With that said, we all know the product has its ups and downs, but by and large it has been kind of stale (which is why I do NOT write a weekly column). Mick Foley, in the Legends of Wrestling roundtable discussions, mentioned that in 1997 Vince admitted that some of the ideas they had been trying were not working, hence the attitude era was formed. 12 years later, must we still be stubborn, especially during rough economic times for most businesses? I say, kick in the door again and try something different. Now I am no fictional television “General Manager”, but if I had things my way, here are my own “New Rules”:

1) Let The Fans’ Reaction, NOT Merchandise Drive The Product:

Stone Cold, The Rock, Bret Hart, Shawn Michaels even Hulkamania in various incarnations were big products of fan reaction. Late 90’s WWF (and wrestling in general) was a complete mess in terms of fan support. Fans where booing early incarnations of DX and the Hart Foundation (unless they were in Canada) at the same time. It all evens out because if you let the fans boo and cheer who they want they will be happy and are vocal.

Hulk Hogan turned heel initially because fans were tired of rehashed heels in the Dungeon of Doom trying thwart the old red and yellow. Fans WANTED to boo Hogan by 96. In 2002, the audience wanted Hulkamania back. It may have sabotaged the New World Order to a degree, but the fans were granted their wishes (shortly thereafter Scott Hall being Scott Hall & Nash being a 44 year old injury-plagued big man).

We all love lists (they do read better), so here are some examples of some present day bad booking for some extra merchandise bucks:

John Cena’s career from 2005-present (booed heavily but cannot turn heel due to movie and merchandise purposes). I have covered this many times and if you are over the age of 12, you realize this too.

Ted DiBiase rumored to make a face turn. He has not really been given much of a chance to talk, but will be forced down the fans throats to market a movie, which may hurt this ultra-talented star in the long run.

Randy Orton, who has established himself as a major heel in the past decade, was once forced down our throats turning on Evolution to becoming the youngest World Heavyweight Champion. Why was this turn so sudden? Vince’s ego could not stand to face that the youngest, hardest pushed talent and champion Brock Lesnar had up and left the company 5 months earlier. Politics, not a drawn out feud, was the cause of this title reign. For those of you keeping score, Orton lost the title and turned heel less than six months later and has been more successful since. By the way, he is finally mastering what it takes to be a megastar in this business, convincingly evil facial expressions, in-ring ability and solid promos. He has really grown, even in the past year.

2) Lessening The Noose of The McMahon Dictatorship

I think that statement speaks for itself. The McMahons are smart, but even Vince in the downturn of 1996/97, looked to edgy writers Vince Russo, Ed Ferrera (who should have ONLY been writers NOT bookers), Shawn Michaels and The Clique for fresh ideas. Paul Heyman was an evil genius and one of the most talented minds of all time, but even he asked his workers what they wanted.

Apparently, Chris Jericho is getting into an angle with Rey Mysterio and will have creative input in some capacity. He also did in the lengthy, yet brilliant Shawn Michaels feud (my favorite of 2008). This is a very good thing. Don’t give out Hulk Hogan-like creative control clauses, but once and a while trust your soldiers’ instinct. Stephanie McMahon also mentioned in a talent meeting that “no one will be held back” and to pitch ideas for their characters. I’ll believe it when I see it, but that would be a huge step in the right direction in my opinion.

3) Let The Hall of Fame Inductees Speak For As Long As They Damn Well Feel

This is one that particularly peeves me. These men and women, who gave their hearts, scarified their bodies and lives for this business get to summarize things in three meager minutes. When the day comes that I depart TWNP (which would make some around here happy these days), I will give the readers more than just three sentences. Bad enough the Funks (who EACH could have been individually inducted) had to graze over their long and illustrious careers so Stone Cold had plenty of time to say, “What?” Ricky Steamboat is still a relevant wrestler (temporarily at least) as well as agent backstage and his inductor Ric Flair IS the Hall of Fame, of course I want to hear them go on long. Even the Fink has some great stories to share, hell, he has been the voice of WWE events for decades. Here’s an idea: start the event at 5 or 6 in the afternoon (you’ll get a lot less fan heckling this early) have it go until 10. You have time to have everyone get their words in and edit out the frivolous material and show a taped cut of the show at 11. Everyone wins. Do not shortchange the men and women that have helped build the business to what it is today.

4) Revisionist History

I do love me some WWE DVDs. The first thing that excited me when Vince bought WCW is that he would have their library and showcase it, which he has along with nearly every other notable wrestling organization. A lot of homegrown talent that made their mark in the WWE gets the fair DVD treatment (Bret Hart, Jake Roberts, Roddy Piper), but there are many others who, for political reasons, get the short end of the stick. I did really enjoy the Ultimate Warrior DVD (I was there in Hartford for his WCW debut, it was terrible), but there were positive things to be said, right (he DID sell a ton of merchandise)? Most notably, Crockett Promotions, later World Championship Wrestling, gets the WWE-branded reputation of being a hillbilly organization with a boatload of cash that in the end was a joke to the mighty WWE. True, to a small extent, but the heart and soul of the Ric Flair DVDs, was his NWA run. Ricky Steamboat, The Funks, The Briscos, Harley Race, The Four Horsemen, The nWo, Chris Benoit, Eddie Guerrero, Brian Pillman and countless others mastered their craft in World Championship Wrestling.

If I were forced to make a decision in 2001 of which organization would survive the war, of course I would choose WWE (I’m a northeast guy and they can market better). WCW FORCED the then-WWF to get better and we all won because of it as fans. Eric Bischoff is a smart man and even though he comes off a smarmy at times, I like him and think he is a very good businessman. So with that said, is there any wonder why he does not want to participate in WWE’s Rise and Fall of WCW release? Call WCW what you will, but it was Eric’s baby and they pushed Vince to the limit, the likes of which he may never see in his lifetime again. I would not be surprised if it comes off as more of The Fall of WCW than anything (and yes, I will purchase it anyway).

5) Tag Teams
This is one fans have been clamoring for a long while now. We have two sets of belts (unified at the moment), but hardly enough teams to warrant two titles. Don’t throw any two guys together, but in the old days when two guys couldn’t get over on their own, tag team wrestling helped save men’s careers. It gave them some much-needed experience and was fun to watch. Bret Hart was a WWF jobber in 1984 and Jim Neidhart was destined to lose matches to JYD (maybe Hogan on TV if he was lucky), but we wouldn’t be talking about either man the way we do today if it were not for the Hart Foundation. Shawn Michaels was a pudgy little rookie in WCCW before Verne Gagne put together the Midnight Rockers, later just The Rockers. I could do an entire column about the state of tag team wrestling, but the bottom-line is that it gives talent that wouldn’t necessarily get the solo spotlight a chance to shine. Basically, the old synergetic adage of the whole being greater than the sum of its parts. After all, it worked every other decade, why not now?

6) Pointless stats

I do not have a long rant on this, but who cares? I could care less that Raw has more episodes than Seinfeld and The Simpsons combined. Who watches these shows, wrestling fans of WWE shareholders? I mean, I’m glad these stats ease my fears that the business is not going under, but when you have to brag about this stuff chances are you don’t have much else to talk about.

Is it me or did The Miz cut a really good promo on Cena? I really want to dislike The Miz (after all, he is a Real World/Road Rules “legend”), but hey it was not bad. I really do not want to end on a point about The Miz, so does WCW get a fair break in WWE history, is there a place for tag team wrestling in today’s brand and will the fans ever have their say again? I’m set with my ramblings, what do you think? New Rules anyone?

-Luscious Jonny F