Column Posted by Turgid Worm on 11:16:29 AM Jun 4, 2009
Anyone who reads this site’s column board with any consistency (of whom I feel there are few left) would have noticed that I, the Turgid Worm, have not posted a column in more than two months. My last post was titled “WasteAMania,” which should give you some indication of how long it’s been since I’ve commented on the WWE. The reason for this is simple: the WWE sucks. Since well before WrestleMania, nearly every episode of Monday Night Raw has been an embarrassing failure. In the last few months the show has repeatedly disappointed me with unbelievably stupid storylines (Santina as Miss WrestleMania, Lawler defending Cena from Miz’s insults, Nuggets vs. Lakers/McMahon vs. Kroenke), horrendously offensive segments (Santino repeatedly referring to Eddie Guererro’s widow as ‘hog,’ leading up to a Hog Pen Match at Extreme Rules PPV) and some awful, awful wrestling (Goldust/Hornswoggle vs. Kendrick/Festus, Shane McMahon vs. Orton, Santino vs. Beth Phoenix, Cena vs. Big Show, Batista vs. anybody). All this Monday Night Garbage has almost completely drained my interest in the WWE. When I’ve had the chance the catch Friday Night Smackdown (which is irregularly, because I have a social life) I’ve liked the straight-wrestling product much more; but in all honesty, after seeing the new alternative on HDNet (also readily available on YouTube) I must say that the WWE style of wrestling just doesn’t seem exciting or enjoyable to watch anymore.Thus, I vow to renew “With Turgidity” with weekly comment on the most Turgid thing around today: Ring of Honor. Yes, Ring of Honor is the best wrestling show on television. YOU must watch it. If you don’t get the HDNet TV channel, you can watch every episode on YouTube. They are posted regularly by a guy called ROHBrazil. If you consider yourself a wrestling fan, do yourself a favor and watch the ECW of the New Millenium…now. The show embodies the ROH commitment to quality wrestling; complete with astonishing athleticism, engaging in-ring storytelling, and respectful yet adult story lines. The red and black ring set against the pure black house focuses all the attention of the workers in the ring, whose natural athleticism simply amazes in the HD display. The ROH style can be best described as “American strong style” (or “American puroresu”) as the matches include the elements of pain-threshold testing, long-spot format wrestling, and clean finishing of puroresu while also incorporating some of the more flashiness and high-flying of the Americas (lucha and WWE). The important thing to take notice of though is the incredible spots. Maybe it’s because we’ve not seen so much of these competitors, but nothing they do is predictable. When Ted DiBiase leaps into Batista’s arms for his cradled spine buster, I see it a mile away and know what it means for the rest of the match, but when Bryan Danielson switches from a Regal stretch into an Indian Death Lock, you don’t expect it but you buy it 1000%. So from now on I will be commenting in Ring of Honor. Next column I will briefly summarize and comment on the first 8 or so episodes of Ring of Honor’s HDNet show, and from there I will go further in depth on their weekly happenings. This column was simply to inform everyone that they should just give up on Raw, because its not going to get better until Vince kicks the bucket. And remember… If its worth doing, its worth doing WITH TURGIDITY!!!
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