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 Fever is Back
Column Posted by Mr. Saturday Night Johnny Fever on 01:13:32 AM Oct 24, 2009



Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, children of all ages, it is, as always, your pleasure and privilege to welcome back the one, the only, Mr. Saturday Night Johnny Fever. A lot has happened in the recent months that have kept yours truly from being able to bring the TWNP News readers the most entertaining article in the history of TWNP News. Johnny Fever, as of June 1, 2009, is a new father! One of those Saturday Night Delights transferred to the most wonderful experience of my life! To all of you men out there that are scared to be a father, once you bring that boy/girl into the world, you'll just sit and stare and wonder what exactly it was that scared you all along! Now lets get to the Squared Circle!

I must say the last couple of months have actually been quite interesting in the wrestling world! Friday Night Smackdown was hands down a five star show! I am so glad that Vinny Mac realized that Cryme Tyme, Drew McIntyre, and the waste of space that is Vickies boyfriend had no right to be in the main event. Asides from Dolph Ziggler being removed from team Smackdown, I was very happy! I believe that Drew McIntyre has a very bright future in the WWE, I just don't think he is ready to be put into such a tough situation so soon. Cryme Tyme, while I love them, are just destined for midcard to jobber status for life due to the fact that tag team competition in the WWE is as extinct as the dinosaours. Not even going to waste my breath on Vickie's boyfriend, because I pray that the wrestling world sees him as the no talent piece of crap that he is, and doesn't give him any reaction, ultimately leading to his termination. I beg of you WWE Universe, don't take the Vickie Guerrero bait! They put her with this piece of garbage because they believe that we'll take our time to hate him, just because she is there! When this man comes to the ring, just sit there in dead silence and send the garbage to the dumpster! Please note I do know his name, I'm just not going to give him any type of plug that might result in drawing interest to him, for it is not worth my time. Another note, I am more of a heel fan, than face, so I should be loving this guy, but I see him for the talentless bum that he is, and I feel so bad for Matt Hardy to have had to do any type of job to this man! He makes Ezekial Jackson look good! In my opinion, Team Smack Down is made up of legitimate talent, with the exception of Finlay who is just a filler! They need to remove Finlay, add Dolph Ziggler and they would have a great Team Smack Down! Now onto another match from Smack Down. Why in the world would WWE have Smack Down's co captains lose going in to the PPV? There is absolutely no logical reason to have the two most important members of the team go into the PPV with a loss. In my opinion that is just idiotic writing. That win did nothing for Batista and Mysterio, but the loss made team Smack Down look like a joke! Is it just me, or is it pretty obvious that Batista is about to turn heel? And what in the heck was WWE thinking by having Mysterio defeat Batista last week even if it was a screw job finish? Am I the only one that is sick and tired of seeing Mysterio end up defeating guys that realistically would leave him in a puddle of his own blood if they were to really get it on? WWE needs to bring back the cruiserweight division or begin cutting everybody on their roster that isn't at least 200 pounds, because personally I'm sick of having my intelligence insulted! I know wrestling is fake, but come on a scrawny little man like that isn't going to take out Batista, Big Show or anyone else on the roster! Put him in believable matches or send him packing! I'm not going to comment on any of the other matches because well, they just aren't worth mentioning.

I will now give my predictions for Bragging Rights, then I will move on to TNA! Undertaker leaves champion and Batista turns heel, Miz defeats Morrison, Team Raw defeats Team Smack Down, Randy Orton defeats John Cena sending him to a second rate show where he belongs, and Smack Down Divas over Raw divas like anyone cares! Also I'm going to go the extra mile here and say that it will be Jack Swagger picking up the win for Team Raw!

I am going to close with TNA, the show you watch if you're into wrestling instead of soap opera! It appears that the greatest stable since the nWo has been destroyed. I am of course talking about the Main Event Mafia! With one PPV, a years worth of investment was flushed down the toilet for reasons I could never understand. Was Booker T seriously that important to the group??? Personally, I thought Booker T stopped being entertaining since before the first time I had to witness the God awful performer in WCW as part of Harlem Heat. The man just sucks. WWE would be stupid to even waste their time or money on trying to bring him back! He sucked in WCW, he sucked in WWE, he sucked in TNA and well he just sucks in everything. He has no right to refuse to job to anyone because he should have never even made it above jobber status. His partner Scott Steiner, who actually has talent, is apparently going to be forced to put over Lashley, a man who can't even commit to the sport, before being handed his walking papers. Speaking of tag teams, it is great to see TNA realizes how important it is to feature great tag team wrestling! I mean you have Motor City Machine Guns, Team 3 D, Beer Money, The Brits, Lethal Consequences and more! Tag teams are alive and well in TNA! I'll take any match featuring the Motor City Machine Guns over almost any other duo of the last 10 years! Talent oozes out of these two young competitors! Another thing that makes TNA great is the X-Division! I know I know, they have some nimrod wearing the gold right now, but as soon as Don West or whatever the stooges name is gets over his hard on for this scrawny garbage, it'll hopefully go back to a talent that deserves it! And in closing we have some ROH wrestler wannabe, get the go ahead to make the greatest wrestler of all time, Kurt Angle, look weak??? Seriously? Really Dixie Carter? Your stupid blonde brain couldn't start him out in a program against, oh I don't know, maybe someone a little lower on the totem pole to make sure that he is worthy of even being in the same ring as Kurt first? I'm so sick of these nobodies coming in and looking great from the beginning! Did Shawn Michaels win his first match? Kurt, you proved you are the best for even agreeing to do this angle!

I know that this isn't my best work, but it's been a while and I am a bit rusty, however, it's still better than most :) Until next time, spread the Fever!

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