Well, WWE can breathe easier (for now) with Monday night’s back to themselves for the sole provider of ‘wrestling’. Did they take advantage of the situation? …Of course not! The format is so predictable and repetitive, I am sure Vince has fired the creative team and bought a photocopier with some correction fluid: Monday Night Raw script with guest host [insert name here]. Ten years ago, having Tyson as guest host would have been a BIG deal, but thanks to the focus on PG-13 programming from WWE, half of their target audience will have been in diapers when Tyson meant something in the media! So the reaction was, shall we say, luke warm when Mike announced the match between DX and himself with Jericho. Shame really, because after a flustered start, Tyson tried to do his best to inject some personality and energy into his segments, so I will give him props for that.
The start of the show was just plain old dull really. Sheamus is a unique character and gives us something different for the title, but he’s just not anywhere near that level. He has no character and charm of his own and has been thrown into the deep end with a bunch of lines to memorise and no individuality. Therefore I’m afraid I can’t see any development or long term future for him as a main eventer. He needs nurturing, someone to learn the ropes from – a manager for instance. Take for example how much impact Brock Lesnar had initially – with Paul Heyman by his side, his character rocketed up to champion-status, and he clearly learnt a lot from him to become a household name in pro-wrestling and someone who made people sit up and take notice. Poor Sheamus seems to have been left to try and go it alone, and it shows. I just don’t believe him as a champion, he doesn’t leave a lasting memory, he doesn’t really pose a threat in the ring compared to someone like Taker. Yes his physical appearance is unique, but you can’t rely on that alone, as his character is a mish-mash facsimile of standard ‘monster’ wrestlers. Anyway, back to the opening segment.
I must admit I didn’t see Randy making an appearance initially, but of course Cena makes an appearance to inject his unique forced (sometimes good, sometimes awful) humour, into the broodiness and monotone Orton-promo. It’s what we have seen before countless times, and is by-the-numbers stuff. True, Kofi making an appearance was a surprise inclusion, but when the Number 1 Contender Triple Threat was announced, it was clear that Kofi wasn’t going to win it, as much I wanted him to. He was just there to prevent YET ANOTHER Cena Vs. Orton match. The only other thing of note that night was the segment we’ve AAAALLLLLL been waiting for - notice the sarcasm? Good ol’ Vinnie Mac’s announcement regarding Bret Hart, more on that shortly. So that’s your main spots on the card for the night, with the rest as filler material. We had two Diva’s/Women’s tournament qualifiers – I can’t remember which title as frankly I care just as much about the WWE’s women’s roster as management do. They are hard-working girls for sure and insanely pretty, but with one or two grossly underused and abused exceptions, the wrestling is appalling! If this PG-13 rubbish is in place, it means the whole titillation and bits for the guys (Bra & Panties matches etc) can’t be done, and the girls just can’t cut the mustard in the ring, so what is the point? It’s filler material, as they cannot compare to the awesomeness of the TNA Knockouts division! This needs to be addressed by the WWE.
Onto other business, with Jack Swagger having nothing else to do, he issues his all-America-American-American-Over-The-Top challenge, as he’s going to win the Rumble apparently! I’ve never heard that one before! Again, sarcasm. Seriously, I hate the Rumble build-up, as all we get are 90% of the roster saying the same old crap “I’m going to win the Royal Rumble and go on to become champion at Wrestlemania!” Really? …erm, wow. This is just like the similar threats to become Champion in a regular feud. Who gives a damn???!!! Get on with it if you can’t say something unique and profound! Damn it irritates me!!!!!!!!!!! I seem to remember a great promo by The Rock back around 2002 (not sure of the year) when he played on just that fact – even complaining the cameraman was going to win the Rumble! Awesome stuff that I doubt we will ever see again. Youtube it kids – that is how you do a promo! Anyway, I was waiting for Mark Henry or Khali someone else like that, because creative couldn’t find anything else for them to do. To my actual surprise Santino answers the call and adds some much-needed genuine humour to the proceedings. This guy is gold and should be considered more seriously as a competitor, just get rid of the unibrow – it’s creepy! Continuing the humour and surprises, I didn’t expect Santino to get the upset win, and would love him and Swagger to have a decent feud sparked by the Rumble match – it could be very entertaining stuff!
The Miz gives us a very good promo, and something interesting to listen to, especially with his JBL impersonation! Brilliant, and I’m sure JBL got a kick out of it too! Miz is continuing to impress me, and I’m wondering if the WWE is concentrating on elevating him rather than Morrison? I say they should elevate both myself – John is future champion material, and needs a feud with the likes of HBK. I was pleasantly surprised to see WWE allowing this promo to unravel at a natural pace, they either wanted to put an emphasis on this or they were playing for time. Shame MVP didn’t add much to it. He just doesn’t work for me as a Face, and therefore his part in this did nothing to add to it. Plus I’m sure he used Booker T’s ex-convict-turned-good promo material from his Triple H match many years ago! Shame really, Miz needs someone unique and on a higher level to compete with, and turn MVP heel already.
Vince’s segment to further the inevitable Mania match, was appalling! It was evident on his face as he stumbled and flustered with the chants of ‘BOR-RING’ clearly heard. Is it sinking in yet Vince? Or do those chants of the people who give you money not reach the lofty heights of the pedestal on which you sit? This stuff has been done all before, so many times and come Mania’ we will be so sick of this crap force-fed to us each week, with the emphasis on ‘VINCE IS RAW’ that we just won’t care about the match and Bret will have lost all his steam going into it. This was an embarrassment and a nothing segment. Same goes for the main event of DX Vs. Tyson and Jericho. It was clear from the match announcement that Tyson had a DX shirt on underneath, we could see this coming a mile away. A dull match that ended predictably, with that pain-in-the-ass Hornswoggle getting in on the action for no reason at all. Please, nobody was laughing! Go away!!!!!!!!!! As for the triple threat, well to be honest I didn’t see Orton winning, I thought we would get the start of the inevitable Dibiase face-turn, but nope, Randy wins and we get a heel Vs heel title match at the Rumble. One I am not looking forward to. Orton works well with the right opponent who has a quicker tempo in a match, but this will be a dullfest that nobody will care about. There are two outcomes here – Orton wins and turns face, which would be the worst idea EVER, or Orton wins and then we get the Dibiase feud leading up to Mania, which would be awesome to see! Let’s face it I can’t see Sheamus bringing in the business leading up to the granddaddy of ‘em all. My other dream match would be Jericho taking the title from Taker at No Way Out with a surprise Edge return, with my pick of Dibiase or Edge to win the Rumble? Hey, I can dream can’t I?! Anyway, to sum up Raw, and as hinted throughout the column at the content of the show – is that it was dull, boring, predictable and lackluster. TNA, hurry up and move to Monday’s quickly, because WWE shows no sign of improving!
