|Column Posted by D.S. Jones on 5:40:29 PM Jul 8, 2011
“This town needs an enema.” —Jack Nicholson
What a fitting epitaph for this column, and for this week in Pro Wrestling/Sports Infotainment. The board is lighting up and all these new faces on TWNP bringing energy and opinions at the speed of sound—you have to love it!
(The above was cheap trick to win approval from my fellow columnist. I apologize.)
You have to love this new Sting. Not really—just another movie pilfer from the people who brought you Sting as The Crow and Hulk Hogan as Mickey Rourke as The Wrestler. It would have at least been somewhat original to have Mr. Borden playing Mr. Nicholson's Joker.
Speaking of Jokers—two kinds of 'em. Vince Russo and Eric Bischoff don't mix. They are like oil and free Arab states. Remember the first few Nitros the pair did were excellent. Same with Impact. Not so much after the ink dried on the third script. However.
I don't blame Eric. I think besides the Hogan roll out on Jan 4, it has been more Russo than Eric in the booking. I could be wrong.
Another great pairing, or should be pairing, is the feud everyone wants to see: Beer Money vs. Mexican America. The feud would be excellent if done correctly, but TNA doesn't have the cajones to do it up right. And by that I mean a full scale assault on the hearts of every flag waving American. Let's have the first match in East L.A., then do a return in the heart of Dixie. The place, not the old ____;;;
;;;But don't get your hopes up. TNA is pushing a Mexican America vs. British Invasion angle. Are we so sensitive these days that we can't just have an honest to goodness feud?—one the fans can really get excited about. Speaking of: why isn't Mickey James hooked up with Beer Money. A natural fit.
YANG: The women are looking great. Maybe I am crazy but ODB would be the best to bed of the lot. Let me raise my zipper now that Hogan has showed up. Old horse face is an erection killer! Or so Ed Leslie says. (Note on ODB: don't know if she even likes guys but this columnist learned long ago what the brothers were always wise to: thick booty = good time. )
Liking the X-Divison push and the fresh faces. Some good matches the last three weeks but still getting killed with bad writing. Theirs, not mine. Surprisingly. There should be an X only show. Already have the title: eXplosion. Wait. Nevermind.
Anderson is a heel. Make the switch and stick to it. On second thought, don't. Use him as the Austin character, fighting the boss. But do it right!
Why is the Pope getting buried? Another great talker who doesn't get any lines. Like A.J. Styles. Here is a guy the company is built on, and he is being used like a cruiserweight undocumented illegal, in the bad old days of WCW.
Well I'm drifting off again. It is almost 6AM, and I don't know where my money is. At least the feuds here at TWNP are real and juicy, and for that I thank you.
D.S. Jones is a poet from Indiana. His influences range from Bukowski to Tennyson. He has sold poems to Black Heart Magazine and Danse Macabre, An Online Literary Journal. Visit thepoetdsjones.com to find out more.
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