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Column Posted by D.S. Jones on 00:49:27 AM Jul 15, 2011




Ok, ok, ok—taking a big break from sports entertainment. Couldn't finish IMPACT WRESTLING—too boring—and still on strike from WWF until Mr. Cena retires.

Thank you Mr. Hogan for making this decision easier. And thank you Mr. Borden as well. Your tribute to the late Heath Ledger was all I needed to decide without a doubt that I am through. Now finish the impression and OD on pain pills in Mary-Kate Olsen's apartment. Thank you.

The last champion of Russo, Bischoff and Hogan, has just slunk off to the sewers—away from the normals who have lives to live and loved ones to love.

Let me part with my list of top five in-ring performers OF ALL TIME. And don't fret or worry, for I shall return when the story arc ends and Hogan makes his face return. As promised.

1. Bret “The Hitman” Hart. All I can say is why the hell not. From his matches with Micheals, to his matches with Owen, to his matches with Curt Henning, no one does it better. To me the Henning/Hart matches are only rivaled by the marathon Flair/Steamboat matches.

2. “Nature Boy” Ric Flair. Probably the most talented man to ever step into the ring—not just
because of his amazing matches and anything for the show antics, but who can forget Flair on his knees begging only to deliver the low blow?--but also for his amazing promo ability. If this were a list of the best talkers Flair would also be 1 or 2 also, so that is why he is the most talented man to ever enter the business.

3. Ricky “The Dragon” Steamboat. From the minute you lay eyes on this guy, with his cool Bruce Lee look, you know he can kick ass. Using a mix of martial arts, high-flying maneuvers and mat ability, a trifecta that is still unrivaled in the business. The matches with Ric Flair alone would have made a career but this guy had more—lots more. And that makes him number three in my book.

4. “Heartbreak Kid” Shawn Micheals/”Macho Man” Randy Savage. Tie. You have to give Micheals credit for his high-flying and showmanship, and not to mention his smart ass grin. In the ring he was a dynamo—able to pull off high-flying moves that even his friends in Mexico had to marvel at. Randy Savage. What can I say. This guy had eyes in the back of his head. Taking to heights unseen since Snuka in his prime, and able to get down on the mat when he had to—Macho King had it all. Oh yeah!

5. Sting/Curt Henning. Tie. What can I say about Sting that hasn't been said. The man is unique in his ability to go airborn at a height of 6'3, and look at his ability to stay healthy when so many of his generation are hitting the Metamucil, not the mat. Curt Henning. Wow. I think he had more athletic ability than anyone in the business. Watching some of his old AWA matches next to his rise in WWF, you can really see what happened to him. And what a terrible end it was to a very talented man. Like Leon “Vader” White, Henning wasn't a natural wrestler. It took time for Henning to become what he would become in his first run with the WWF. And damn it if he wasn't a great talent. Too bad he didn't get the push. He would have been great with the strap. And like Savage, he is missed.

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D.S. Jones is a poet from Indiana. His influences range from Bukowski to Tennyson. He has sold poems to Black Heart Magazine and Danse Macabre, An Online Literary Journal. Visit thepoetdsjones.com to find out more.

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Please check out The Turnstiles Review (dot) com. turnstilesreview.com.


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