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Brock Guffman, Pepper Parks and Jett Jablonski will be wrestling tonight in Cincinnati at Sports Plus in Cincinnati. You can hear Brock's Wrestling Guy Hotline Reports on the weekends on 937-285-0991.
On September 9th, I found myself with the opportunity to sit down and interview Brock Guffman, world famous sports agent and pro wrestling manager for the HWA's A-Squad tag team. After fighting through a blanket of red-tape and a mob of bodyguards, Brock sat down and talked to me about his experiences in the business and elsewhere.
BJ Bethel: So how long have you been with the Heartland Wrestling Association?
Brock Guffman: I have been with the Heartland Wrestling Association for four months, but my presence has been felt since the inception.
BJ Bethel: So why would a highly successful sports agent such as yourself turn to a managerial role in pro wrestling?
Brock Guffman: Oh, I'm still a sports agent. I saw two boys, they were watching MTV, and there was the Heartland Wrestling Association being stuck in the middle of Mariah Carey and Britney Spears, which will probably be the last time any of those guys will be in between two women of that stature, So that's what they wanted to do. Jett "The Jett" Jablonski has been able to go to the top in any facet of sports that he has wanted to. He's been the captain of every team he's been on, and of course we have Pepper Parks, who is the motivation behind the team. He's the inspiration, he's the dominating force. People want to look at him and laugh, because hey he's just a cheerleader, but that's the guy who inspires us, who inspires Jett, and who will help us get to the top. And that is why I came to the HWA, because in the HWA thats where the best talent lies!
Just then, Marty Adams of The Wrestling Guys and http://ccc4u.com walks over.
Marty Adams: That's it, I'm taking over, You're out. I don't like the A-Squad.
Brock Guffman: Hey! What're you doing? He can't afford many of these tapes you know!
BJ Bethel: Yeah, I can't afford many of.. huh?
Brock Guffman: Yeah!
BJ Bethel: Ok, so according to you, Pepper Parks was voted "Best Male Heterosexual Cheerleader" in the nation. How exactly did you determine that? Was that by you?
Brock Guffman: No, that was by independent polling. I'm not exactly sure who did that...
BJ Bethel: Reuters?
Brock Guffman: It could've been Reuters. It might've been AP, or maybe PP. I'm pretty sure it was one of the P's. I know it had a P in it! But they actually did the polling, they are the same people who do the "People's Choice Awards."
BJ Bethel: That's very interesting. So did you ever represent any famous sports athletes? NFL Players or Major League Baseball Players?
Brock Guffman: I have, but there are some legal issues there. I can't exactly divulge who. I help a lot in the marriage counseling side. One guy, who plays for Cincinnati right now I've gotten him into marriage counseling. I can't mention any names though. There are a couple others . I'm always looking for new talent though, but right now my main focus is the A-Squad.
BJ Bethel: A lot of people say, due to your character traits and personality, that you'd be more fit to represent O.J. Simpson or Ray Lewis? What do you say to people who say stuff like that?
Brock Guffman: I say its just petty jealousy. I've talked to O.J. before. We've cut some bread together. Actually, I cut the bread, I was a little nervous about letting O.J. cut it. But, you know, I've talked to him before. If the Gun series hadn't gone to the wayside, I'm sure I could've gotten him involved more in that. Right now its the Love Boat Reunion, I'm really tight with those people. I'm sure I could get O.J. a couple dates n that. Yeah, I'm tight with those people, I'm tight with O.J....
BJ Bethel: So where do you see yourself in a couple of years, do you see yourself at the top of the game here in Heartland Wrestling?
Brock Guffman: No, I see myself taking the Heartland Wrestling Association to the top of the game. I don't see them taking me to the top of the game, I see it completely different. You see, I'm already at the top of my game, I have to elevate everyone else around me. That, once again, is where the A-Squad comes in.
BJ Bethel: So how do you feel about your chief rival, G.Q. Masters III?
Brock Guffman: Hey, he's not a chief rival!!! We're friends! We have a bonding! I could hug him! I could hug him as a man hugs another man and still have respect for his heterosexuality! I'm comfortable enough with my sexuality to know that I could hug him, and embrace him. I respect him you know. He's been around here a long time, and he hasn't really accomplished anything, andI've been able to come in here and accomplish a lot more, but hey, I can kid him about that!!! Sure, we come from different schools, but we share many of the same philosophies...
BJ Bethel: ...like heterosexuality??
Brock Guffman: YES! Such as heterosexuality!
BJ Bethel: So, is there anyone out there right now, in the Big 3 wrestling feds, that you could see yourself working with? When I think of you and major talent, I think of Steve Lombardi, or the Mulkey Brothers...
Brock Guffman: I could've done a lot with the Goobledygooker! If only he still would be around. I really could've seen me do a lot with him. I still don't think he got a fair shake.
BJ Bethel: ...me neither...
Brock Guffman: Not at all... I think him and the Mulkeys, they were a tag team that was a little bit before their time. Because things have slowed down in wrestling, more to their pace.
BJ Bethel: Do you consider yourself as more of a wrestling manager or more of a sports entertainment manager?
Brock Guffman: I consider myself a sports agent. Sports entertainment manager, that's fine.
Just then, G.Q. Masters III walks up
G.Q. Masters III: You know, nothing makes me happier Brock, then seeing a great manager fill these internet clowns with all the half-truths and bullshit possible, and watching you take it and run with it all over the internet!!! Man that just makes me so happy!!!
Brock Guffman: I just got done talking about you! I talked about how we bonded, and we had many of the same philosophies...
BJ Bethel: Such as heterosexuality...*laughs*
Brock Guffman: Yeah! Heterosexuality!
G.Q. Masters III: That's right!
Brock Guffman: ...and how we were bonding and..
G.Q. Masters III: Yeah, and thats a shoot pal! When it comes to heterosexuality, I'm as heterosexual as you aren't pal!! *points at me*
BJ Bethel: How the hell would you know if I'm not?
G.Q. Masters III: Hey, I'm on the internet too!
BJ Bethel: Yeah, you must go to IWZ...
Brock Guffman: You see! Everyone wants a piece of the pie! They all flock over when I'm being interviewed! I am THE MECCA of the HWA right now...
BJ Bethel:... ok, so....
Brock Guffman: ...THE MECCA!!!
BJ Bethel: A lot of people tend to confuse you with Willie F of The Wrestling Guys Hotline...
Brock Guffman: I know! Who is this guy?!?
BJ Bethel: I have no clue...
Brock Guffman: I heard he used to manage before, but I've never met him. He must be pretty stunning looking for people to think he looks like me.
BJ Bethel: So, if your guys in the A-Squad end up winning the HWA Tag Team Titles...
Brock Guffman: WAIT! How did you phrase that?!?
BJ Bethel: IF you guys end up winning the ...
Brock Guffman: IF?!?!? no, no no... WHEN.
BJ Bethel: Oh, excuse me....
Brock Guffman: That's fine, go ahead...
BJ Bethel: Ok, so if....
Brock Guffman: So are you going to finish the point??! Are you going to put a verb in there somewhere?!?
BJ Bethel: OK, so WHEN you win the HWA Tag Team Titles, where do you see you and your boys going?? Are you going to start creating a stable of other wrestlers or are you going to concentrate on building some sort of legacy in the tag division?
Brock Guffman: Well, you know the tag titles are my main focus, and that's my boys' main focus as well. Where we go from that, is to be the longest reigning tag team champion. I don't want to take anything from G.Q.'s team, Romance and Beauty, they are a fine team but they are... well, they are showing some wear. But, you know, *whispering* we'll keep that quiet...
BJ Bethel: No problem...
Brock Guffman: ..and at that point who knows what other ventures we might take into. We're taking this in blocks. The tag team title is like a lego. You put one lego down, then we might put another one on top of it, and after that, we might get a biplane. Or we might make something else...
BJ Bethel: Like a spaceship...
Brock Guffman: Yeah, it depends. Sometimes they come with little figures, sometimes they don't...
BJ Bethel: So how's your relationship with Les Thatcher?
Brock Guffman: Who?
BJ Bethel: Les Thatcher, wrestling legend...
Brock Guffman: He owns it?!
BJ Bethel: Yeah.
Brock Guffman: Who?
BJ Bethel: Les Thatcher! 40+ years in the business, used to tag team with J.J. Dillon in Georgia Championship, MTV, ABC's 20/20...
Brock Guffman: Oh, I may have met him once... I think he borrowed some money from me. Is he an older guy?
BJ Bethel: I don't know, middle age......
Brock Guffman: Yeah, he owes me five bucks, other then that I don't know him.
BJ Bethel: So what do you think of the internet? I am an internet reporter, do you think its good for wrestling, bad for wrestling...
Brock Guffman: Well, as far as the internet goes, I created the internet of wrestling. Al Gore created the internet, but I started all the wrestling stuff, oh yeah, I started all the sports stuff, too. As far as that goes, I had a hand in all of that.
BJ Bethel: Yeah?
Brock Guffman: Absolutely... Yeah, I think its good. I think its great you can see pictures of Chyna before they are out in Playboy, and I think that's a good thing.
BJ Bethel: So, what do you see in the future for Brock Guffman?
Brock Guffman: Anything I want.
With that, the interview ended. Brock had a cell phone call from an Orenthal James in L.A. I was quickly wisked away by security.
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